Let's Pretend It's Tonight
by RoslinMarie
Summary: The night before their wedding, Sully and Michaela take some time for themselves and even get some answers to some unasked questions.


Rating: PG

Summary: The night before their wedding, Sully and Michaela take some time for themselves and even get some answers to some unasked questions.

Disclaimer: CBS and Beth Sullivan own them. I'm just playing with them.

Let's Pretend it's Tonight

Michaela lay in bed looking up at the ceiling of the old homestead. Not being able to fall asleep yet, her thoughts were of the man she would be marrying tomorrow. A slow smile spread across her face as she pictured him. She was in love with Sully. Hopelessly and deeply in love with him. In this quiet time, when there was nothing to distract her, she'd spent many hours thinking of him and what he meant to her. There had been no clutter of impending patients, no scattered thoughts in the midst of chaos, just hours of quiet solitude to think about the man who owned her heart. She'd been laying here for hours now, just thinking of him and trying to measure his importance in her life. And she'd come to the realization that he meant everything.

She'd never seen herself as the sort of woman who would feel comfortable and at ease with handing her heart and soul to another. She was a strong and independent character, and had always considered that to do so would weaken her, but she now understood that his mere presence gave her strength. With David, there had always been reservation and acceptance. Never just this easy melding and deep comfortable knowledge of each other. Soul mates were the word that came to mind and perhaps best described this wonderful sense of belonging.

Her thoughts drifted back to her fiancé. He was her equal. His quiet strength, freely given, inspired her with courage and vigor. He supported without oppressing, and he gave without the need to take in return. He understood her in ways that no other person ever had. He was aware of her shortcomings, but didn't measure her by them. He was a good man, willing to stand by her side, but not allowing her to overshadow him.

And yet, there was something she feared. Being with Sully stirred something in her. Something she could not explain. The way she felt when he touched her, kissed her. She'd never felt anything so strongly. Nothing her books, Dorothy, nor her mother could ever explain what happened to her once his lips touched hers.

But did he feel the same? Did her kisses and touches stir in him the same way they had in her? Would he compare her to Abigail? That thought alone was enough to drive her under the covers and never come out.

A light tapping on the window beside her bed coaxed Michaela out of her uncertain thoughts. She sat up and leaning over drew away the lace curtain searching out the source of the noise.

"Sully?" she whispered in question, his smile drawing her out from her bed. Donning her robe more for modesty's sake than need, she stepped out into the warm night air, yet she shivered as he took her hands in his to coax her into his arms. "Sully, is something wrong?"

Before answering, he kissed the top of her head, and rubbing her back he breathed in the scent that belonged only to her. "We were so busy with your family and with all the weddin' plans, I never really got a chance ta git you alone tonight..."

Michaela looked up thoughtfully at her soon to be husband. "True... I was just thinking I wished we had more time together tonight... Just the two of us."

He lead her over to the chairs on the porch, snuggling down together they sat in silence for a moment before Michaela finally voiced the thought that had been turning around in her head all night. "Sully, do you... I mean... do you ever wish I were more... experienced?"

Sully slowly lifted his head from where he had it so comfortably leaned against the side of hers. "You can't be serious."

"I am." His questioning stare urged her to continue. "I... Oh I don't know. I suppose I'm just a bit...nervous. Perhaps still even a little frightened… I just thought it might be better for you if I wasn't so… inexperienced. "

Sully studied her face as she studied the invisible string on her night down. "Come on," he said determinedly, pulling her up with him. Knowing she was barefoot he scooped her up as if she weighed nothing, and headed for the barn.

Surprised, she exclaimed quietly, "Sully!" Keeping her voice low, so as to not wake the children, she asked, "Where are we going?"

"There's somethin' I think we need ta do before tomorrow."

OOOO

Sully held Michaela close to him as they neared their new homestead. It was late he knew, but knowing Michaela as he did, he knew her anxiety would only increase as their wedding night approached. Her honest admission only fueled a desire to assure her that there was nothing to be frightened of.

Drawing Flash to a halt in front of the steps of their homestead, Sully slid off the horse then held out his arms to Michaela.

She fixed him with a half-hearted scowl. "Now will you tell me why we're here?"

He chuckled quietly, "If ya git down I'll show ya." He caught her deepened scowl and quickly tried to make up for his errant words, "Trust me, Michaela?"

She shook her head but smiled her crooked smile reserved only for him. "Of course I do. I just normally like to know ones objective when kidnapping their fiancé." Leaning down she let him catch her. She slid slowly down his chest, their eyes met as her feet softly hit ground.

"Then it wouldn't be a real kidnappin' if ya knew." He shook his head to emphasize his point before lightly kissing her forehead.

Taking her by the hand he led her up the steps of their new home. As they reached the top Sully turned to her and with a secret smile asked, "In a little less than twelve hours, I can carry ya officially across the threshold... to our home. Does that make ya nervous?"

"Does what make me nervous?"

"Carryin' ya across this door here." he said, as he unlocked it. Turning the knob he swung it open and back a bit, emphasizing it.

Michaela smiled. She could see what he was trying to do and it warmed her heart. "Noooo, that does not make me nervous."

"Hmm... Must be somethin' else in here then...Maybe we need our own rehearsal?"

Michaela swallowed, "Rehearsal?"

Coming to stand only inches from her he kissed her gently then lifted her once again into his arms. Michaela gasped, and held onto him as he crossed into the house, as his lips sought hers again. She was mesmerized by the feel of his arms, and the welcome smell of home- their home- amid the blanket of familiar stars. Her joy only tarnished by the pangs of fear filling her heart. Would he compare his life before?

Setting her feet back to the ground Sully moved over to the fireplace lighting a few lamps resting on the banister. Her hair shone in the flickering light and even with her face in shadow, he could see her clearly. She held him with a steady gaze and he couldn't pull his eyes away from hers. Mesmerized, he watched as an assortment of emotions passed over her face, her eyes never once leaving his.

Holding his arms out, he gestured around the living room. "Let's pretend its tomorrow night… we're all stuffed from the weddin' and excitement… I bet Mathew even took the kids with him… now, we're all alone... Anythin' in this room make ya nervous?"

Michaela shook her head in amusement, as she glanced around the room. "What could possibly make me nervous?"

Sully grinned. "That's what we're tryin' to figure out."

She cocked a delicate eyebrow at him. "Well then, Mr. Sully you can be rest assured that there is nothing in this room that makes me nervous."

Sully nodded, seriously crossing his arms across his chest. "Alright..." Suddenly inspired, he crossed the room to her, grasping her hand pulling her with him as they now stood in the kitchen. "It's in here ain't it? You're afraid of the kitchen," he sighed, trying not to smile. "I'm sure Colleen will still help ya cook."

Michaela giggled and playfully rapped her knuckles against his chest, "Sully!" She sighed and turned back to the room. "No, I'm most certainly _not_ afraid of the kitchen."

"Well, if it's not anythin' down here, must be something upstairs that scares ya." Sully said, as he looked up to the ceiling above them. Michaela's eye's followed his. Taking a deep breath, she tried to meet his eyes but found it impossible to keep his penetrating gaze.

He saw the uncertainty that was not often found in her eyes. He reached up to tuck a wayward lock of hair behind her ear and leaned in to place a gentle kiss on her lips.

He took her hand and stepped toward the staircase.

"Sully?" she questioned uncertainly, pausing midstride so he was halted momentarily in his steps. Her heart pounded in her ears, and she watched his face soften.

"Don' worry, Michaela," he assured. "It's a_ dressed_ rehearsal."

Her mouth curved into a smile, her face alight with a look of love she only gave to him. She took a tentative step forward and spoke softly.

"For now…"

Reaching their room Michaela's steps slowed. Surely they had been in there before. Telling herself she trusted Sully, she followed him as he opened the door to their room.

The bed was the only piece of furniture, which made their bedroom look larger than it appeared. The white of the mattress stood out as the light of the moon hit it from the open windows, giving the room a soft glow.

"Anythin' in here scares ya?" he whispered, walking up to her.

Michaela's eye shifted to the bed then back at Sully, who caught her gaze as the bright spring moon filled their room with its light.

"I can see how it might do that." He nodded. Her eyebrows rose, and he continued, "Scare ya, that is. I'm not use ta sleepin' in a bed. Might git kinda annoyin' havin' ta sleep next to someone tossin'and turnin' all night."

Michaela smiled at his gentle teasing.

"Maybe we should test it out?" Sully suggested, moving over to the other side of the bed. Wasting no time, he hopped onto it, his hands going behind his head, making himself comfortable. "See, not a creek to it. It's pretty strong, don' have ta be afraid of it breakin'." he grinned, winking at her in the process.

Michaela attempted a reproachful look and narrowed her eyes at him, only to have her own grin break out as he started to chuckle. Not sure if she should join him or not she gestured to the side of the bed unoccupied. "Why did you leave me this side?"

Sully looked up from where he rested his head in his hands. He shrugged, "Don' ya normally sleep on that side?"

"Well, yes…"

"So, don' ya think you should try it out?"

Michaela bit her bottom lip. It was rather prudish of her. After all they had slept side by side before. Many times in fact. Throwing caution to the wind, she climbed in beside him. Lying to face him, the moon shining down on his beautiful face, Michaela sighed. "I could get used to this."

With these few words his soul soared. He took a shaky breath and pulled her to his side. "That's the idea."

Joy and peace swelled within him as he listened to the soft whisper of her indrawn breaths timed with the staccato of his wildly beating heart.

Tilting her head to the side, she contemplated his handsome and much loved face. When she thought of him, her inventory usually started with the light blue of his eyes, but tonight instead, she started with his chin and worked her way upwards. Firstly, she took note of the small cleft in his chin and his strong jaw. His lips featured prominently in her fantasies, well defined and sculpted. She couldn't wait to feel them on her bare skin and trembled at the thought. Then there was his nose, which leant such character and strength to his gentle face. His eyes were closed but his lashes contrasted darkly against his tanned skin. Michaela's hand rose and, with feather light touches she traced his features as she took inventory. So engrossed was she with her explorations, she didn't notice his eyes open until he whispered. "Michaela?"

Her hand stilled but she didn't take it away, instead she rested her palm against the side of his face.

"Sully..." Her voice was barely a whisper. Her fingers drifted over his cheek, across his lips, and she could feel his hot breath caress her fingertips. He took her hand in his and kissed her fingertips.

Michaela turned over on her side beside him and he held her, spooned, in front of him. His breath feathered across her neck as he spoke. "When I told ya we'd take it real easy, I meant it. Did ya not believe me when I told ya?"

Michaela shrugged. It was easier than she'd imagined, speaking of her feelings. Perhaps it was that they were facing away from one another, cocooned in the dark, but the words fell from her lips with ease. "I did, and I was so sure of us together, but...then... Something..."

He nudged her with his shoulder, "What happened?"

"Mother," she sighed. "She felt it her duty to educate me in the ways of a wife's duty."

Sully did not know whether to be appalled or amused. He certainly never wanted Michaela to feel that being with him was any kind of duty but imagining Michaela's face as her mother talked to her about marital bliss... He could not contain his grin and was thankful she could not see his face. Still, he concealed the smile in her hair. "That musta been a real interestin' conversation."

"Sully! There was nothing interesting about it."

Making a decision to take advantage of this mood, of this moment. He grasped her hands and pulled her back around to face him, folding her into his arms. "This fear that you're feelin' now... Is it fear of me?" He continued at her questioning expression. "Or is it us together?"

She searched his eyes and found the warmth and love she was craving, the warmth and love that her heart yearned for. She found it surprisingly easy to say, "Both."

He watched her carefully as she hesitantly looked back up at him.

"You know I'd never hurt you or do anythin' you weren't ready for."

"Yes, I know... But there's something else that worries me sometimes... Something I haven't ever admitted to you...not even admitted it to myself."

She felt his intake of breath as he prepared say something, but she spoke first. "I thought I'd put away the thoughts of comparing myself to Abigail long ago but it turns out they were just hiding, ready to pronounce themselves when I least expected it. You know, it only occurred to me tonight that tomorrow will not be your first time..." Not able to look up, afraid of what she might find in his eyes, she let her insecurities finally float to the surface where she felt completely vulnerable. Her eyes filled as she let the stress of everything happening this week fill her.

Sully felt as if his heart would break and burst all at the same time. His love for her stronger than he'd ever felt with anyone. He pulled her further into his embrace and gently lifted her face to his, "That's where you're wrong, Michaela...It is my first time... With you." he finished, as her tear filled eyes found his. "There is no one who could ever compare to you and our love for each other. I've never felt this way before."

His eyes were filled with such love, and glinting softly in the soft glow of the moonlit night. Her hand drifted lower and she placed it over his heart. They were both barely breathing; time seemed to stand still until her words whispered loud into the night. "I love you, Sully."

She felt his body tense and then he breathed a sigh, his hand rising to cover hers on his chest. "I know. I love you too."

Michaela blinked slowly. "I'm sorry. I know I tend to worry too much... I suppose I just don't want to disappoint you."

His hand twisted around and he wove his fingers through hers, still holding it against his chest. "Michaela, you have nothing to be sorry about, and trust me when I say, you will never disappoint me." He wriggled back on the bed to give them more room, and tugged at her arm. "Come here."

They were quiet for a time, letting the emotions settle around them and allowing themselves to grow accustomed to the feel of each other. She'd always imagined what it would feel like, lying in their bed beside him. In her mind, it was always so complex and stirred with it so much anxiety. With all that deeply buried desire and need, bursting forth in a rampage of longing, but it wasn't like that at all. It was simple, comforting and oh, so right.

She was musing quietly to herself, thinking that she would almost be content to fall asleep in his arms when she made the wonderful mistake of looking up into his eyes. A fire so hot and so fierce lighted those blue windows to his soul that a bolt of raw need plunged through her and straight through her. So intense was the feeling that it was almost painful and she could feel the heat and moisture of her own desire. It took her so completely by surprise that she made a small whimpering noise and before she knew what was happening Sully's lips had captured hers in a bruising kiss.

That calm and control that she'd found so comforting gave way to a raging need and spring of want. He rolled so he was almost lying over her, pressing her into the soft cushioning of the mattress. It was heaven. She hadn't realized just how much larger his body was, compared to hers, but his broad chest completely covered hers and his arms engulfed her. There was the wonderful sense of surrender, tempered with a touch of fear at the size and strength of him. If he were to decide to take her, she could do nothing to stop him, but she knew that with a single word, he would pull away and leave her alone. Her heart swelled at the knowledge of the power they both wielded over one another. Even in this new dimension of their relationship, it mirrored what they had been to each other over the last three years. They were equals. Equal in love and life.

His lips were dragging down her throat, as she wrapped her arms around him. Her hands ran down the strong muscles of his back.

After a few moments that could have been hours- of heated kisses and chaste touches, Sully pulled away, and in between kisses, he said, "Michaela, It's gettin' late...I think maybe we should getcha back before someone notices I stole ya away."

"Mmm... You're probably right."

He grinned down at her. "Are ya still scared?"

She smiled up at him. "No, not of us... Not anymore."

With a gentle tug, Sully helped Michaela sit up.

Xxx

Michaela took a deep shuddering breath, as he set her down on the steps of the old homestead, and turned in his arms. "I love you, so much. Don't ever forget that."

Sully looked into her eyes. "I never will, if you promise me the same."

The intensity left her eyes and she smiled lovingly. "Gladly."

They stood smiling at one another for another long moment and then Sully kissed her nose. "Do ya think ya can get some sleep now?

Michaela nodded and wrapping her arm around his waist and his draped over her shoulders, he walked her to the door of the old homestead. They kissed a lingering kiss goodnight, and as she crawled under the covers moments later, she fell peacefully to asleep with thoughts of them.

The quiet peace that enveloped her as she accepted his lead was not what she expected. It felt a lot like home.

The End.


End file.
